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When it’s the first day of spring and looks like this, people here go for walks with their coats open, hats off, punch-drunk by the end of the long #winter. Though I’m not from #Minnesota, I get it. I SO get it.
I don’t get it,” my mother tells me, horrified by how anyone can ignore it’s only 30 degrees out, regardless of the date. “It’s crazy.” And, as I try to explain it to her through my mirth, I suddenly realize: it’s cognitive dissonance.
This is where you wanna drop off if you’re triggered by heavy topics b’c I’ve learned #cognitivedissonance is the same culprit for that other “crazy” behavior my mom can’t wrap her mind around: that a woman as self-assured as I stayed in an abusive relationship for as long as I did.
To spare us of graphic details, I’ll keep using the #weather to illustrate my point.
Cognitive dissonance is trying to make sense of conflicting messages. Like when your calendar says it’s #springtime but your eyes and the feeling on your flesh says otherwise. If you’re the really determined kind, the kind who is known for her amazing ability to reframe a difficult situation, for making lemons from lemonade, you’ll find a way to override reality. To put a #positive spin on it.
You’ll want things to make sense so badly, you make ‘em that way. You keep hunting for confirmation, or minimize the truth, or blame yourself, even. It’s been so warm out. This is just a hiccup, a cold snap. Duh, I should have worn layers.
At no point did I accept anything other than that Chasingskirts loved me, that I was–as he swore so often–his angel, his soulmate, the only one who got him, the love of his life. My belief in his love for me was deeply entrenched after months of receiving gifts, flowers and giant shows of affection (like the surprise $15k commitment ceremony in Bali), and it was something I WANTED. Like, 100% wanted.
It would have been FAR more painful to admit that what we had wasn’t real than to find a way to survive it. So that’s what I did. I kept secrets. I played things down. I rationalized.
Until the day I didn’t, and began to deal with it.
Today is the #firstdayofspring, folks, AND it’s wicked cold. It’s not pretty but it’s the #truth.
1 hour ago
If I was you I’d wanna be me too
Curiosity killed the cat, don't worry about what isn't yours!
3 minutes ago
The word #vagina means sheath ie something that gets something put into it - before discovering I was trans and beginning to allow testosterone to transform my genitals into something completely unique (which I now call my #powerparts ) the word #yoni , a #Sanskrit word, found its way into my life. This word means gateway to the secrets of the universe, which it indeed is and deserves to be treated as such. Nothing is needed to stick into it - it is a #universe unto itself - a gateway or sacred portal which we can connect to to experience the divine. When we experience sexual trauma, it is imperative to directly address the site of the wound, which is at the yoni (which obviously does not happen in traditional psychotherapy though I love that model for working through the emotional part), and it can literally cut off a piece of our divinity, a huge part of our life and ability to feel safe enough to experience deep pleasure. As such, much of the work that I do with one-on-one clients who have experienced this particular form of #trauma involves extracting pain, fear, rage, sadness from the yoni that was energetically planted in during the abuse with a #crystal which is called a #shamanicextraction It is one of my favorite practices to do because I feel like I am literally giving a person their life/body back by helping them clear and reclaim their sexual space. That space is YOURS, darling, and no one elses. Please send to someone who might benefit from this work
is by @natureyoni my absolute favorite Instagram account. Please check out her amazing work on seeing the sacred feminine in nature #womblove#metoo#natureart#naturemedicine#sexandspirit#yoniverse#healingsexualtrauma#traumahealing#shamanichealing#thepowerofnature
4 minutes ago
Have you ever questioned the timing of some of the recent sexual misconduct allegations?
Are some people opportunist who strike when it may be in their favor or no ? .
Via our Collab force
@shabazztheog x @todaysLoop