JUST IGNORE IT AND THEY’LL STOP: TEACHERS, BULLIES, AND UNINTENDED CONSEQUENCES
Just ignore it.
It’s our favorite advice to give kids when they’re getting picked on, bothered, annoyed, or bullied by other kids. Ignore them and they’ll stop.
They’re just looking to get a rise out of you. Once you stop rewarding them with that, they’ll get bored and move on.
Sure, sometimes that’s true.
But usually it’s not, and then our kids think we don’t know what we’re talking about, so they stop listening to our guidance.
And in some ways, that’s exactly what I want them to do, now that I think about it.
If you’ve ever found yourself in these shoes too, you probably just wanted to help put things in perspective, to offer ways for kids to cope with and shake off any names called or insults dealt, to lessen pain, alleviate shame, and build a strong foundation of self. That was where I was coming from anyway.
You can’t control how anyone else acts; you can only control yourself.
That’s been my go-to response for as long as I can remember. Because as much as we want the other person to realize what they’re doing isn’t right, we can’t insist on that as the only outcome, because we ultimately can’t make it happen. Free will and all, etc, etc.
So my work as a teacher has been to help the student let go of how much the affront bothers him or her so he or she can stop participating in the process and can experience some relief, develop a connection to his or her self that transcends what other people think or say. And in many ways, this is solid and useful advice.
Except for this:
I’m done telling the kids who are getting mistreated to just deal with it.
I’m done suggesting they stay silent.
I’m done encouraging them to accept that they can’t change anyone but themselves.
Maybe that’s true, but when we settle for a world in which we just accept it as true, we are delivered this world - where assault and transgression feels baked into the systems and institutions we hold dear, entitlement and conquest run rampant, and every day is laced with tacit tolerance and complicity via all that gets left unsaid and unchallenged. (continued in the comments...)
This week, cartoonist @kagwheeler reflects on 30 years of life and gives some advice. Note: All views expressed are the opinions of the artist.
5 hours ago
Chaque année, le célèbre journal américain @TIME , nomme la personnalité de l'année. En cette année 2017, ce n'est pas une personnalité mais un groupe, essentiellement constitué de femmes (à 80%). Quel est ce groupe? Celles et ceux qui ont réussis à briser le silence autour du harcèlement sexuel : The Silence Breakers. Le Time n'a pas fait qu'une simple couverture et un article sur ces personnalités, mais aussi une vidéo, touchante et puissante. Elles et ils prennent la parole pour raconter leur combat et ce qui les a poussé à dire STOP! Cliquez sur le lien pour découvrir la vidéo du Time : https://youtu.be/MkR8GY2YBAU
Time Magazine, Person of the Year
Rainy day reading!
Taking some time out on a rainy day to catch up on @time Magazine’s ode to the “Silence Breakers” in their Person of the Year issue. An interesting concept as the Person of the Year is simply the people who have been most influential or made the biggest impact, rather than the most praiseworthy (Donald Trump is number two!) But highly recommend giving this article a read - so brilliantly summarises the social movement created by those who have spoken out about sexual harassment in the last year, the history of the issue and some of its complexities - a good starting point for expanding our thinking! 🧐 #timemagazine#silencebreakers#personoftheyear#peopleoftheyear#rainyday#tourismnewzealand#travel#inspo#girlpower#inspiration