That's one thing people need to understand. I don't want to end my life. I just want to end this constant pain that is killing me inside.
Even if I'm okay for a while I want to die. Just like right now. This huge down phase is over (I think) but still I want to die. Because I can't take it anymore. All these ups and downs changing like the fucking weather. One moment I feel like shit, the selfhate is overwhelming and I feel fucking lost and lonely. And the next moment I feel like I could really through this shit and one day everything could be better.
But sadly the down phases are getting more often and worse everytime.
I just don't have the power anymore to fight every single day. I'm so tired and exhausted.
Thanks #government I was hoping to get my car checked out and pay off my maxed out credit card. Now I'll just keep scraping week after week to hopefully afford food since I apparently make too much to qualify for welfare. #StarvingArtist#thankstrump#ihatemylife#killme#ijustwanttodie what happens when I can't afford both my antidepressants and rent? Fuckkkkkkk I can't keep my mental health straight when I'm fucking broke all the goddamn time