As a new member of a male dominated field, I’m often judged by my gender, age, and appearance. Well today a client reminded me that this is the year of the woman. And today I was successful in my first trial. Times up, boys. #MeToo
9 days ago
Today's lesson is on sexual consent ...The other day I found myself in an extremely compromising position, where I felt pressured and manipulated into activities I neither wanted nor enjoyed. When I told this person how I felt, they treated me like I was just being a drama queen/"crazy bitch", but I was left in tears, and felt incredibly ashamed and worthless. In the days to follow, I attempted to stand up for myself and was again treated as though I was totally insignificant, which then led to me inflicting self harm in my irrational cloud of anguish and heartache. This person knew how I felt, was sober and aware of his actions, and has continued to treat me in a totally appalling and degrading manner. So it's with that said... Just in case you're still struggling to understand consent, just imagine instead of initiating sex, you’re making them a cup of tea. You say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they go, “OMG, f*ck yes, I would f*cking LOVE a cup of tea! Thank you!” Then you know they want a cup. If you say, “Hey, would you like a cup of tea?” and they um and ahh and say, “I’m not really sure…” then you can make them a cup of tea or not, but be aware that they might not drink it, and if they don’t drink it then — this is the important bit — don’t make them drink it. Just because you made it doesn’t mean you are entitled to make them drink it. If they say, “No, thank you,” then don’t make them tea. At all. Don’t make them tea, don’t make them drink tea, don’t get annoyed at them for not wanting tea. They might say, “Yes, please, that’s kind of you,” and then when the tea arrives they actually don’t want the tea at all. Sure, that’s kind of annoying, but they remain under no obligation to drink the tea. Sometimes people change their mind in the time it takes to make the tea, and that's okay, you are still not entitled to make them drink it even though you went to the trouble of making it.
Always treat people with kindness and respect folks. #MeToo