One of the most beautiful days I had in Australia at one of the most breathtaking private beaches my mind had difficulties accepting this beauty, luck and happiness as reality but that's what it was: reality to the purest. I am very grateful. #nelsonsbay
I’m sorry, but let’s be real.
Any couple that says they don’t argue, are not being honest with each other.
Having differences and disagreeing and getting upset and mad and angry is all part of the human psychology. And it is NORMAL!
The key factor is how you handle, react and resolve those conflicts with your spouse! That my friend is the “Ah ha!” moment.
It’s not the disagreement itself, it’s the aftermath process that really is important!
How do you behave during and after the argument? How long does it take you to make amends? What do you do to come back together in peace again. That’s where the focus needs to be.
You see two people that are different individuals, that regardless of how much they have in common, they will still have different opinions on many things.
And although time will allow you to grow and learn to choose your battles, still there will be plenty of differences between the two of you to make you guys crash with one another.
Therefore, if you find yourself in the middle of an argument with your spouse, just breath, relax and start thinking what caused the conflict, why you felt that way and find the solution to the problem.
Most importantly, make amends with your spouse and enjoy life. That’s it! That’ what matters!
As long as you don’t cross the line to verbal and physical aggression where you disrespect each other, then a disagreement is healthy for the relationship. How else are you going to have make up sex?
Naaah, seriously, don’t fret if once in a while you argue. As long as you acknowledge and apologize to each other you guys will be fine. But you must follow the process.
Do you have steps you guys follow to reconnect after a quarrel? Post your comments below.
34 minutes ago
We all make mistakes: mis-attune. The real question is how do we discern if the apology is one we can trust. Whether someone uses abuse or appears a genuine and a caring person - we need to be mindful - because we all have an unconscious. Don’t let your boundaries go because other people are unconscious to aspects of themselves. Be conscious about their unconscious. We often brush things aside and say they didn’t mean it or didn’t know better. But we all have an unconscious and it’s not that we should feel unbearable shame when we mis-attune to someone - but we do need to be willing to say something along the version of, “omg, that was never my intention. I don’t know what part of me was unconscious to saying/doing that. I will need to do some work on what is going on in me, because this is not aligned with who I want to be. If this is happening more than once I need to do something about this because it’s out of my conscious awareness. So I need to work with someone who can guide me because I have been unconscious.” We can become self reliant and mistakenly believe being an adult and independent means we can work everything out on our own. We can’t! Often people with unresolved trauma perceive they are further along than they realise because we had to minimise how bad things were or we would collapse. Often this coping mechanism is still working after escaping and we minimise what we do and what we miss. We have blinkers because we don’t want to be ‘a mess’. We are desperate to feel in control and capable. We are capable. We are also vulnerable. We are valuable. Make yourself the priority. Everything else will fall into flow when you prioritise connecting to that which is out of consciousness but us shaping and structuring your choices and connections. #stopdv#relationshipproblems#familyviolence#psychotherapist#unconscious#soulcentred#communication#boundaries#blurryboundaries#attunement#misattuned
"When my friends text me about their breakups... As someone who has been so crushed by heartbreak (a few times) in my life I will tell you that the best advice for getting through it is trusting that you will be okay. ⠀
We are so much more resilient than we could ever imagine. Let go of the fear that no one else will love you the way that person did. ⠀
Let go of the fear that you will end up alone. When we walk around with fear we attract fear-based energies and situations. ⠀
When we walk around with faith that what is meant for us will flow with us, we attract all of the things that support and serve our flow. Trust the bigger picture. Even if you can’t see it right now. I love you." ⠀